


Somewhat of a Battle of Wits

by charlottefrey



Series: What if....-Bagginshield crack [4]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 04:33:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1926753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlottefrey/pseuds/charlottefrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dwarves are captured and Thranduil whats to lure Bilbo in his bed, but Thorin hasn't spoke the last word of it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhat of a Battle of Wits

**Author's Note:**

> The elk/deer/Whatever-it-is thing (and my part-inspiration): http://applepie1989.deviantart.com/art/The-Hobbit-What-can-NEVER-Happen-345997546 (I just love this)

 

Whilst Gandalf was welcomed warmly by the elves, Thorin and his company were pushed quite harsh through the door and over the great stone steps towards the throne of Thranduil, the Woodland King.

   “Thorin Oakenshield comes back to his mountain as a broken man. I haven’t expected to bring so many of your kin.” The dwarf growled low, making the hobbit beside him shiver.

   “And you are certainly as arrogant as when I left.” Not even Balin tried to stop his king, when Thorin stepped forward, Orcrist still strapped to his back. “But what to expect from a tree-shagger.” Thranduil frowned and his guards hissed.

   “Oh Thorin, don’t bother. You know my power.” A white elk appeared behind the king and stepped closer. “Admiring my mascot?”

   “An elk as an mascot? Certainly not your best idea, Thranduil.” Thorin sneered and glared at the elf.

   “I suppose yours is a shabby pony? Oh, I forgot: You have lost all your ponies.” The elf laughed and with him his guards and all the others, until the dwarves winched at the sound of high pitched laughter.

   “Enough!” Thorin roared and everything went quiet.

   “As I can see Thorin, you have a hobbit in your company. A hobbit, who is not very happy about your behaviour towards me and him, I suspect.” The white elk, which stood behind the elf shifted and laid his silvery eyes on Bilbo. “Come forth Halfling. I won’t harm you.” Uneasy, but with the wish not to disappoint the elf, Bilbo stepped forward, past Thorin, who glared at him.

   “It’s…uhm…it’s and honour to meet the great Thranduil. And…the elk is a fine animal.” Bilbo shivered, when the elves all leaned forward towards the little creature. “I am very sorry for the dwarves’ behaviour.” Thranduil smiled gently and rose. When he knelt down beside the hobbit, Thorin growled.

   “Don’t dare to hurt my burglar.” The knowing smile crossing over the elf’s face made Thorin furious.

   “So…that’s the game you play.” Bilbo, completely confused and ignored just stood there, shifting nervously.

   “I don’t play games, I am no _elf_!” Thranduil chuckled.

   “Certainly, no one would call such a stubborn creature something gentle as an elf.”

   “If I am to choose between stubbornness and being a tree-shagger, I choose being stubborn!” The arched eyebrow of the elf rose higher on his forehead.

   “You can only insult people and crush orc skulls. No idea of the fine art of elvish music, preferring the harsh sounds of drums and other instruments, I don’t even want to know about.”

   “Your music pains the ear and I certainly know more about ‘fine art of music’ than you do, elf.” Thorin growled, forgetting himself in his temper.

   “What kind of instru…”

   “Harp.” Snapped Thorin. The faces of the dwarves behind him were hilarious: Balin looked mildly annoyed, Dwalin rolled his eyes and sighed, Dori looked pissed, Ori and Nori barely suppressed a giggle and the other of the company were all in different states of petrified shock or confusion. Bilbo giggled, a high pitched, but still beautiful sound. Realizing his mistake, Thorin flushed a bit, but held his angry glare.

   “Harp. As is dwarves knew how to play this gentle instrument.” All kinds of protest erupted from the dwarves, answered with snorts of the elves.

   “I am certain, that Thorin knows more about the harp than you do!” It was Kili, but his brother also seemed close from saying something he might regretted. Dwalin, the keeper of the two insufferable Durin brothers hit the younger hard on the back of his head and huffed. Slowly Bilbo crept back to the dwarves and disappeared into the safe middle of his companions.

   “Five on Thorin.” Kili, who was still recovering, shoved a handful of coins towards Gloin, who nodded and wrote it down in a small book.

   “Nine on my uncle.” Fili laid down the coins and turned his attention back on the show.

   “Twelve on Thranduil.”

   “Oi, Gandalf!” Dwalin glared at the wizard and got a chuckle back. Bilbo rolled his eyes and looked between the dwarven bodies, to get a glimpse of Thorin and Thranduil.

   “This is none of your business, tree-shagger!”

   “Well, but I think my kin would love to see you play.” Thranduil grinned and leaned down to Thorin, daring him to say the wrong thing.

   “I don’t believe, you elves have a dwarvish harp, so no, thank you.” The elf arched his eyebrow, but didn’t reply immediately. He walked back to his throne and sat down again.

   “Anyway, I am curious, how you plan murdering the dragon. Play on the harp until he falls asleep. Or show your grumpiest face and wait for him to fly away. Oh, how about telling him to kill him and pray he dies of laughter.” The elves chuckled and Thranduil grinned.

   “I have my own solution for the problem. Bilbo, come here please.” The hobbit stepped next to the dwarf, uneasy, unsure.

   “You plan on sending the hobbit?” The scandalized look on the elf’s face made Thorin frown, but the Woodland King continued, before the dwarf thought of a reply. “Bilbo, think about it again. You would be safer here in my realm, protected by brave and numerous elvish warriors.” Thranduil was already on his feet and halfway towards Bilbo, when Thorin intervened.

   “Bilbo signed a contract and dwarvish contracts are not easily broken. Furthermore I think, he won’t stay with a horde of tree-shaggers.”

   “Are you sure? Nobody actually has asked Bilbo, if he’s ready for a journey with you. And even now, nobody has asked him about his opinion on the matter, where he wants to go.”

   “Bilbo!” Simultaneously Thorin and Thranduil turned on their heels and stared at the burglar, waiting for him to answer.

   “Uhm…well, I am not sure, but I think, I’d rather…rather…” his eyes went from Thorin, his leader and employer to Thranduil, the Elf King and mighty warrior. “I think, I would…I stay with…uhm…I can’t leave them behind, so I will stay with Thorin and the company.” Thranduil looked hurt. “But that doesn’t mean, I am not honoured of your invitation and if all this is over, I am glad to accept your offer and maybe stay a few days before I return to the Shire.” Now Thorin looked scandalized.

  “Don’t pressure the lad too much, it will do no good!” Balin smirked at his king.

   “Uh…I didn’t want to offend any of you, but…”

   “Bilbo are you sure, that you whish to stay with those creatures? They aren’t kind towards somebody like you, are they?” Thranduil grabbed Bilbo’s arm and pulled him closer.

   “Well, we had a few fights, but they are pretty nice.” The hobbit blushed a bit.

   “I have never heard some one call Thorin Oakenshield ‘pretty nice’.” The redness on Bilbo’s cheeks increased, finding himself dragged even closer to the elf. “I only want your best for you, so please…”

   “Bilbo. I owe you my life and I trust you nearly as much as I trust Balin and Dwalin. We need you help on this quest, or we all die.” Thorin’s hard eyes were fixed on the burglar, but his tone was soft. Thranduil glared at the dwarf, who now stood closer to the hobbit, hand stretched out to touch Bilbo.

   “Oh Yavanna.” Bilbo fainted. With ease, the dwarf caught the small body and pulled him close. Bilbo didn’t move and every body watched, wondering when he would awake. After a while, the elves and dwarves seemed to remember their hatred against each other and Thranduil sneered and stepped back from Thorin.

   “I have no other option, than to kick you into my dungeons.”

   “Oh, Thranduil, I am certain, you wouldn’t dare to throw any of Mithrandir’s friends into a dungeon. Especially, when I tell you, that this journey is of great importance for Middle Earth, not only the Longbeards. Furthermore, I would like to remind you of the oath, you swore with Elrond and Galadriel in Isengard with all the other elves and wizards.” Gandalfs eyes were twinkling friendly, but his tone was too soft. “Though we would love to stay for a while, we are on a tight schedule. It would be _certainly_ kind of you to give us mounts and food, so we can reach the Long Lake.”

   “ _Certainly_.” Thranduil’s face turned sour, but he didn’t dare to say something against the wizard. “They will be prepared. Legolas, show them the way to the stables and also make sure, they get enough food for their journey.” The Elf King swirled around and left.

 

 

Bilbo woke up three hours later, when a warm arm laid itself around his waist, securing him. Long hair tickled his shoulders and neck, but he felt also immense warmth radiating off the body behind him. When he slowly opened his eyes, he saw a path through the forest. The horse, a fine white beast walked slowly over old stones.

   “So you are finally a waken.” The voice was low and made Bilbo’s chest vibrate.

   “Yes.”

   “Do you need something?”

   “Nothing, Thorin. Nothing.” Bilbo leaned back against the warm chest of his leader and closed his eyes again.


End file.
